"Goat" horoscope

We offer you a good laugh over this funny horoscope.

Aries

Hysterical goat. The second level of narcissism to all Zodiac: Leo typical typical Aries still beat can not. When communicating with Aries must remember that it is just incomparable and wonderful, is always right. Any Aries have a fad, in which this particular Aries believes that he is the best he can be the most beautiful, the strongest, most experienced collector of turtles from the island Chu-Chu ... If you dare to begin to doubt, Aries starts to behave like a cross between shestnadtsatiletki with roaming hormones and klimakterichnoy aunt with changes in temperature: it will stomp their feet, yelling, throwing various objects, and can even climb into the fray. And Aries will always be the most brazen way to be rude. Who is to blame for the fact that he alone is always right? This is also necessary to tell the world, yes.

Taurus

Lazy Goat. It is the wildest brake on the whole zodiac. He does everything slowly. When trying to think of Taurus, is in his eyes reflected creaking gears. If someone dares to hasten it, expressing the double portion of the truth, to which Taurus will try to think of Taurus offended, and will continue to spite you think. However, reach the same conclusion. Incredibly boring, it is not possible to drag somewhere on a nearby couch. No other sign does not eat more than he loves. Any request ignored, because in spite of the natural slowpoke, aki stubborn young (or old) bull with saggy tum.

Gemini

Insensitive asshole. More than anything, he loves to shoot the breeze on abstract themes, in its own interest. On their own interests when dealing with the Twins, you can safely forget. Twins - a kind of butterfly, which flies to the place where you can get drunk from the heart. One of the biggest drunks throughout the zodiac. Shade clown suffers, loves to play on the public cost performances. Seriously this man impossible to talk, laugh it off, or will be in the open to be rude. The house is impossible to catch him, it will wander over all possible friends. Love to invent, the ability to hang noodles on the ears, are second only to Sagittarius.

Cancer

In contrast to the previous one, a sensitive kid. Able to be depressed by any spoken word incorrectly, the biggest moaner crybaby and the entire zodiac. For themselves virtually unable to be hiding behind relatives and close friends. Greedy madness zhist money will not give, but the native all later, when hit in the head. She looks into his mouth to anyone who praised him. For anyone who has praised it will run like a faithful dog zombie.

Leo

Narcissistic goat. On narcissism completely bypassed all the other signs. He - the king, the patrician, God. Unlike Aries, surpasses other people in everything, there is nothing that he does not know and does not know. People are created to serve him, to worship and to sacrifice themselves and small mammals in the form of a dinner on the plate. Often unrecognized genius. More than anything, loves attention. Squeamish to madness. However, more than any other sign of being on every garbage: it can fool even the five-year period. For a Leo intelligent, and the rest - seme above.

Virgo

Sly goat. Calculates any situation from start to finish. Passive and looks weak and limp, but actually in stealth second only, perhaps, Scorpio. But unlike the above, it does not have any character trait that is characteristic of a person, not a robot. He lives on a schedule, make it so that it was "the right thing". Absolutely dry and bezemotsionalen. Yeah, the part seems like a harsh thin shell lies the soul and the heart full of feeling, but FIG. It - biorobot, a self-running a specific program. To achieve the goal, and the public good, without flinching, killed hundreds of people per day and verski strangle a puppy. Not experience any pleasure from it, but will not pucker.

Balance

Cranky kid. The same squeamish as Lev. Distinguished by its sutyazhnostyu biggest barrator in the zodiac. As a little dog barks at everyone who is unable to have a real resistance. Do not see what is written in the average horoscopes, Libra love to swear. He loves to show ostentatious generosity, which is in a difficult moment turns meanness. Intrusive to distraction, like limpet adheres to bum.

Scorpio

Goat-sadist. The most vile nature of the entire zodiac. Despot, all sought to control yourself. A woman's place in Scorpio - the kitchen. Hamley rare. Vindictive like a nightmare, if you do something managed to offend him - this is the end, will remember to

end of life, and sooner or later he will avenge. Generally, it is as touchy as cancer, but not spreading like a rag. Rather, get into a fight or will start coming up with devious plans for the destruction of the offender. Like Virgo, is able to shoot a hundred people a day and brutally strangle a puppy, but unlike Virgin, get pleasure from it.

Sagittarius

Nerdy kid. According to the tediousness of something than even Capricorn. It occupies the third place of self-love, after Aries and Leo. He considers the most important virtue in a good mood, runs from problems, hates discomfort and the quarrel. For life is a child. The main sissy Zodiac. Despite the signs of contrast, terribly similar to Gemini. Babbling madly, will compel about any topic of interest to the loss of pulse and consciousness. Often cowardly wildly afraid of responsibility in any form. Aki lying gray gelding. Just because he likes the process

Capricorn

Just goat. Aims and rushing to her ass Aki male, well, just exactly like Virgo. Only Virgin does what is ordered and Capricorn - what you want. If Capricorn took it into his head some dregs, he will achieve this turbidity, going over the heads of all the unwanted and firing. In this case, unlike the Scorpion, perfectly zametet tracks and quietly forget. Capricorn do not care about anything other than their targets. For a purpose to betray anyone. Suffer villainy, will smile in your face and talk shit behind your back - if it is profitable, of course. This conservative infection without benefits for themselves in zhist not do anything.

Aquarius

Irresponsible goat. Loves from himself assumed a cynic pohlesche than Scorpio. Wino, easily competing with the Twins. Often drink, not because I want to, but because friends oblige. Remembers absolutely everything except their promises, oaths and the phrase: "It was the last time, never!" Said by him. Like Leo, it is an unrecognized genius. It has some similarities with Aries: surrounding the need to recognize it as the only fad. For Aquarius is his extraordinary genius. All, absolutely all Aquarians brilliant genius. Able to love only his endless friends. All the others are not taken into account.

Fish

Weak goat. The faintest sign of the zodiac. Afraid of difficulties in any form. Pathologically dependent on all the others. From the final transformation into a doormat it protects only a huge ego armor and self-love, which sometimes reaches the scale of Leo. Also helping the innate cunning and often despicable. More than anything, he loves to lie on the green grass, dreaming of a better life. At the same time he required to regularly bring to devour. The likelihood that someone will not cook, clean and perform other low-lying responsibilities for it, fish do not recognize. Not even that which is not recognized, it is for them unthinkable. And it always get what they want ...